How Jess hits on guys


it’s weird to think that everyone views you differently like one person might think you put the stars in the sky and another person could think you crawled out of the pits of hell and are here to drag them down with you

(via stripedbowtties)



old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on

then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources

(via justanotherhiphopper)








by the way did I ever tell y’all about the time I got a blank message from nobody, sent on new year’s eve in 1969, when the internet didn’t exist?
because that happened

What the fuck

Time travel.

Or maybe its from 2069, when we’ve developed the technology to send data to the past. You sent yourself a blank message as a test but as the email address you used to send it doesnt exist yet, it came up as no sender

I… what?

So back in the early days of computers, when we were trying to build clocks to keep all our computers in sync, we tried a bunch of different ways to synchronize them in ways that both normal people could use and programmers could utilize.
We just tried saying “The current time is THIS date” and just storing that date as some text, but while that was easy for humans, it was a bunch of different numbers that worked together in funny ways and computers don’t play nice with a bunch of random, arbitrary rules.
Not much worked, until we realized that we needed a BASELINE to compare against, and a way to represent the current time that covers everybody. So we came up with Unix time, because Unix was the style at the time. Essentially, Unix time represents any given time by saying “How many seconds ago was 12:00 AM on January 1, 1970 in Iceland somewhere?”. Recent enough to keep the numbers relatively small, far enough that nothing computer-y would fall before it, and consistent enough that there’d be no discrepancy based on where you are.
So what happens when you see the date “December 31, 1969” on a buggy message like this is that the computer received a bunch of zeroes by mistake and went “Oh, this must be a message!” Then when it tried to interpret it, it got to the date, found a zero, and said “Zero seconds since the Unix Epoch? I’ll round down - this was sent at the last second of New Year’s Eve, 1969! They’ll be so happy to finally get their blank message.”
And then the computer traipsed off on its merry way, because computers are fucking ridiculous.

This is frankly more hilarious than the 1969 time traveler theory


sounds about right 

Important info for the skeleton war

A prairie dog was too fat to get out of his hole


*wakes up from coma* 

teacher: here’s 300 assignments you missed and the homework from the past 3 months and all the 100 tests you didn’t do 

(via artisthyweapon)





imagine having a boyfriend that takes you to concerts

imagine having a boyfriend that takes you to his concerts

imagine having a boyfriend

(Source: warpedlaur, via jeannettehigginbotham)



WOW guys ran into some of my school mates at the market wat r the chances

flirting w/ bae


i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via stripedbowtties)

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